When you are born a woman, you grow up realizing that the world and society are practically rigged against you. No matter the lengths you go to to make whatever blame a bad situation has not be pinned on you, somehow you as a woman are still at fault. As Maise Peter’s hard-hitting lyric goes, “He stole her youth and promised heaven. The men start wars yet Troy hates Helen.”Even if one tries to break away from the damage and influence that those gender expectations cause, they persist through the will of previous generations and their instillment within the younger ones. Within her short story, Jamaica Kincaid shows us how internalized and persistent those heavily weighing gender expectations can be on women.
At the start of her work, Kincaid’s story can be read as someone mentally going through helpful advice given between a parent and child. It is almost like the friendly teaching of using the uglier bananas when baking banana bread since they are at their sweetest and will be perfect for this baked treat. However, the helpful words are halted with an almost accusatory question or sprinkled with harmfully misogynistic statements, such as being referred to as a slut for the most simple things. Simple things like walking, wearing a skirt, or even singing a specific type of music. That train of thought is then cut off again with more “instructions” as to how to do specific tasks that may come in handy when one lives alone but is nonetheless briefly cut off again with some form of accusatory or even hurtful statement. The almost back-and-forth “conversation” between the woman and what should be her mother, or at least a voice inside of her head that may sound like her, but is nonetheless cruel with her closing line. An almost accusatory and disappointed line of “you mean to say that after all you are really going to be the kind of woman who the baker won’t let near the bread?”(Kincaid) This almost inferring that no matter what we strive to do to appear to others with the image of a good and ideal woman, someone will still find error within us and say that we are at fault for not appearing the “correct” way to them.
Kincaid’s story gives audiences of both genders an idea of how taxing being a woman is today and has been for generations. Women are expected to be so many things simultaneously, yet whatever they become is insufficient for society. Kincaid could arguably be labeled as having written a story that gives others an understanding of the “female rage” movement. The “female rage,” an almost trend or idea seen more noted and discussed on apps like TikTok, is the idea or image of a woman finally releasing all her frustration and hitting her breaking point towards her situation or the situation of other women, be it a stranger, close friend, or even family member. Even if sometimes glamorized, the female rage could be defined as “a quiet rage, simmering and unspoken, among women – an anger that’s been encoded in our private conversations, the words we choose and looks we exchange; a language that only we know how to use, reacting to injustice.”(Nolan) Kincaid is arguably a part of the wake-up call others have begun to receive with the ever-growing injustices women continue to face, even before they are born. As the anthem of this movement, written by Paris Paloma, says, “All day, every day, therapist, mother, maid. Nymph, then a virgin, nurse, then a servant. Just an appendage, live to attend him. So that he never lifts a finger. 24/7 baby machine. So he can live out his picket fence dreams. It’s not an act of love if you make her. You make me do too much labor.” Both creators implying that no matter what, there will always be an expectation of more for women.
Growing up as a woman, I have faced my fair share of unwanted expectations by other female relatives and society. I remember once, when I was a little girl, I wore a skirt and happened to be sitting with my legs slightly open. My mom practically yelled at me for how I was sitting; she said that I was a girl and girls were supposed to sit appropriately with skirts or dresses, my legs had to be glued together, or else it was inappropriate. With the way she reacted, you would think that I was sitting with my legs split open and high in the air that they moved my skirt up and showed my underwear for the whole world to see. This statement has followed me to adulthood to the point that if I’m wearing a skirt or dress, I’m practically turning my legs into pretzels as not to appear inappropriate and even say the same thing to my twelve-year-old sister. Alternatively, when I first began experiencing my menstrual cycle, I could no longer play the same as the other kids my age, especially the boys. I was a woman now and should act like a proper one, even though all the other eleven to twelve-year-olds were playing like that. Even in a household where my mother experienced firsthand how harmful machismo culture is to both her and the development of her older brother if my grandparents were present, the culture was almost enforced. One of the most recent times occurred one year during Christmas, I had helped all day with cleaning and even the preparation of tamales, and my brother was able to slip away to play video games and stop helping. Coincidentally, we had previously developed a system where we alternated between each other on the day we each had to do the dishes, and that day it was his turn. But my grandmother decided to try to have me do them instead, when I politely tried to point out that my brother was supposed to do them that day, I was scolded by my mom and dad, and painted out to be this disrespectful and bad daughter. Even when trying to politely discuss it with my dad, the more levelheaded of the two, he just chalked it up to, “Your grandparents are old fashioned. You should have done it to please them and not offend them.” Even with being capable of simple tasks like cleaning, laundry, and some cooking, it’s regarded with the “joke” statement of “Now you’re ready to be married,” instead of it being viewed as a necessary skill for one to have when they live on their own. Growing up a girl typically meant being faced with statements of “You need to do this to be deemed pretty by men, act like this or else you will turn away men and then you will wind up single for the rest of your life, you have to think like this or else people especially men will only see you in some negative light, always remember how dangerous it can be to be a woman but also don’t live in fear or else you will be deemed some crazy paranoid individual.” The double standards between my male relatives and me could almost be infuriating, even when pointed out, it would either be denied or claimed to be blown out of proportion by my “feminist liberal” mindset.
Kincaid allows the audience to interpret the almost unspoken reality of womanhood and its frustrations. It is up to par with even more recent works that enable women to feel heard about our experiences in this almost anti-woman world. A world that is filled with double standards, and contradictory rules that they have to live by in order to attempt to succeed in the action of merely existing. It can elicit the same emotions many women felt when watching Greta Gerwig’s 2023 summer box office success, Barbie. More specifically, the emotional monologue of America Ferrera’s character that brought many audiences to tears and was used to aid the characters in their most difficult time in the film. With the most hard-hitting part of the speech being “You have to never get old, never be rude, never show off, never be selfish, never fall down, never fail, never show fear, never get out of line. It’s too hard! It’s too contradictory and nobody gives you a medal or says thank you! And it turns out in fact that not only are you doing everything wrong, but also everything is your fault.”(Burack) Even a film about a doll understands the message that authors like Kincaid are trying to convey to their audience.
Kincaid’s understanding of the practically impossible standards women have to live by compared to their male counterparts is a key point more audiences should understand and be introduced to. If the hypocrisy was more noted and improved upon, society would have the capability to improve and allow women the same liberty as men to merely exist and be deemed successful. Putting it out in some form of outlet, allows for it to be shown as one of the many examples of women’s experiences. Even if one could argue that it is not the same for everyone, depending on their racial and even economic background, in some way shape or form, women have been exposed to the same thing. Be it by the actions or words of their female relatives or society as a whole. It is something that needs to be voiced, and should be seen by others in order to form an understanding.
Works Cited
Burack, Emily. “Read America Ferrera’s Powerful Monologue in Barbie.” Town & Country, 5 Aug. 2023, http://www.townandcountrymag.com/leisure/arts-and-culture/a44725030/america-ferrera-barbie-full-monologue-transcript/.
Kincaid, Jamaica. “Girl.” The New Yorker, The New Yorker, 19 June 1978, http://www.newyorker.com/magazine/1978/06/26/girl.
“Maisie Peters – History of Man.” Genius.com, genius.com/Maisie-peters-history-of-man-lyrics.
Nolan, Megan. “The Functions of Female Rage.” Frieze, 2 Feb. 2023, http://www.frieze.com/article/functions-female-rage.Paloma, Paris. “Paris Paloma – LABOUR (the Cacophony).” Genius.com, 29 Mar. 2024, genius.com/Paris-paloma-labour-the-cacophony-lyrics. Accessed 21 May 2024.
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